With the date to honor mothers being just around the corner I wanted to beat the crowd with my Mother’s day post. My youngest child turned six years old this week and my eldest will be eight before summer is over. I had my boys early in life, younger than most woman do. Without revealing my age, I will tell you that I was a teen mom before MTV’S Pregnant & sixteen had aired its first show. In those days young women like myself would say “Oh no, that will NEVER happen to me.”As I saw close friends bare their own I was bias to the epidemic that was on the rise. Here’s the thing, life is full of surprises and even though I was careful ,at that age abstinence should of been the only thing I should of been practicing.
A first time mother can never be fully prepared for the journey that follows after having a baby. It doesn’t matter if you’re seventeen or thirty-three, it is always scary with so many worries beginning with morning sickness and beyond breast-feeding. The questions are endless and there are millions of “what-ifs” scenarios that cross your mind. Even after reading every parenting book at the library or magazine displayed at the gyno’s waiting area, experience is the only way you will know how to care for your unique little human being. To be honest, had it not been for my own mother I would of been completely clue-less. I thank God for her efforts in attempting to raise me through the right path, the poor judgement was all me. My mom had been a teenage mother as well, despite her best intentions I ended up following in her steps.
At the naive age where adolescents believe to have reached adulthood, they fail to realize that a teenager is simply the transition stage to becoming an adult from a child. There is so much to live during your high school years. Even though at the moment four years seems like along time, looking back it really wasn’t. Things my friends without kids had been able to do, I could because I was home with my child planning our future. Out of everything, as cliche’ as it is, prom was one thing I wish I could of attended. I don’t regret my kids because they gave me life. It was just way too early timing during a crucial time in my youth. Most people think negative of teen mothers, granted there has been plenty screwed up ones, but then there are those who have been able to see the wonder of it all defying the odds.
Instead of wanting to give up on life I focused on my education wanting nothing than the best for my children, as any mother would. Having a toddler and an infant, at the time, I stood up endless nights studying and doing homework taking a break for the baby’s mid-night feeding. The next morning, I’d get them ready and send them off to daycare right before dawn still being dark out so I can get myself to school on time. With hard work and dedication, I managed to get my Medical Assistant certificate. There’s nothing greater than having your children witness you accomplish something because if mommy can do it ,then that means they could do anything their little heart’s desire.
Many people think teen moms are likely to fail at parenting, but it isn’t as if there’s an instruction manual that comes with your newborn baby. To be quite honest, a bad mother can be any age or race for that matter. So when my parent-teacher conference came around and I received exceptional reports from both teachers (especially for my second grader who has been diagnosed with ADHD since the age of five) to me that’s more than rewarding. I literally couldn’t be prouder. I may be tough on my children, but hadn’t I been perhaps they wouldn’t be as respectful and kind. My kids do know better, but it hasn’t been easy raising them on my own teaching them right from wrong. After graduating I had moved out of my mother’s place then it was just the boys and I. It was most challenging because I had to learn how to be a boy. I learned to play with hot-wheel cars, watch the ninja turtles, and don’t get me started on potty training. When they fall and scrape a knee they were taught to get back up and brush it off after a kiss to make it better. Nothing like Mommy’s “magical boo-boo disappearing” kisses that make the pain go away.
Thankfully, I have met someone who has accepted my little family. The help is much appreciated and he has adapted well to our chaotic life loving my kids as if they were his own. The love I feel for my children is as any mother can best describe it, something much bigger than simple words could define. My personal goal is to give them as many tools so they can be the happiest they could ever be. So that they are able to use better judgement than I did and focus on their education and own personal goals. For them to build a future before having their own family only because I want them to be successful providers. Most important for them to grow up to be the gentlemen that their generation will so desperately need.They have already learned that brothers should be best friends so whenever momma is not around they’ll have each other no matter what. All I can promise them is that I always try my best doing all I can for their best interests. Like my mother and hers before, through prayers and guidance is how I will be able to be the wonder mom they see in me. The most important thing is that at the end of it all they turn out to be good people with morals and ethics.