Although I stroll through the sandy water I am unable to feel the coolness of the ocean. I continue to walk and search. Who am I seeking? I have this longing feeling for a man. A man whom has captured my heart and possibly my soul.
He could be a little estranged at times whenever I forget a task or don’t do things the best I can. I can’t really blame him. He is a man who knows what he wants and how. So, I just continue to try my best and please him. When I can’t get something right the first time, I ‘ll try again. It’s a rewarding feeling when I make him happy.
I will admit, when I anger him, it is not pleasant. I tolerate it because I got him to that state with my stupidity. Sometimes I just do not think things through. He just works so hard trying to give me the world. I’ve learned that business comes first. As a trophy wife, I just stand back and let him shine. He dresses me with fine clothing, beautiful jewels, my closet cannot fit another pair of shoes. He gifts me a lot.
Especially on the bad days when he loses his temper with me. Like I said, I can’t blame him. Most of the time it is my own fault. The blows aren’t as bad as they used to be and now he tries not to hit my face. He knows it’s hard to cover bruises on certain spots. It’s gotten better, not as often anymore. It’s been good.
I continue to look for him at our favorite spot. We just love it here. The beach is always a wonderful place to be. I could be here an eternity.
I finally spot him. He is facing away from me, his broad shoulders strong. I float over to him like the breeze. I just allow for the space to close between us and with an outstretched hand I reach for him, but my fingers miss him. They go right through and panic sets in as I remember. It just floods in a single flash.
It’s dark and we are arguing. What about? What was it tonight?
“Who is she?” I screech.
“It doesn’t matter!” he is yelling.
“It does to me. Who is she?” This time a little louder and his hand come down stinging my cheek. We are on his boat and she wasn’t the first one. The slap makes my vision blur, but I shake it off. The tears already going since I saw her picture on the text. A beautiful blonde, how original. My fingers brush my own bleached hair as I struggle to stand gripping to the rail.
“Listen, I am sick of this. I want a divorce.” He announces. My stomach drops and my hand falls onto my abdomen. I’m speechless.
“Excuse me? You want what? Hell no. After all the shit you have put me through, you think I will just give you a divorce so you can go with some whore? Have you lost your mind?” I’m breathless, how dare he? The audacity of him. After everything I have done to help him in his career. He could barely read when I met him.
“It is obviously not going anywhere with us. You are just not what I thought you would be and I need something new and better. I just can’t take the carelessness that comes from your part.” The bastard is so unsympathetic speaking to me as if he is firing an employee.
“I’m pregnant! After ten years I will finally be able to give you a child.” I didn’t expect the second blow with a closed fist this time that immediately sent blood spurting from my nose. My face is hot. More tears. I’m tired I just stay on the deck’s floor.
“You are supposed to be on birth control.” He snarls.
“I wanted to surprise you. You have told me for years, once your career kick started you would want a family. You’re the CEO now we can have our family. I was ready to give you that.” I just can’t understand. Everything I have sacrificed to be with him. My own family, my friends, MY career.
“I don’t want a family with you. You will have an abortion and we are going to get divorced. I don’t want any ties to you.” He gets close, my hands are up expecting more. But he just stares, his eyes red with fury. What have I done? I go to stand up and he snatches me up to my feet with a fist-full of my hair. I let out an agonizing sound and ask to be let go. “You are not going to have this kid. It will ruin everything for me!”
“Please, just let me help you. We can fix this. I love you. Don’t do this to us.” His fingers still strangled my hair and it hurt trying to release myself from him. He is just so damn angry. He shoves me away and I struggle, but remain on my feet.
I try again, the metallic smell of blood strong. I taste it in my mouth. I slowly walk over to him, one arm outstretched. Defensive. I could stop him if he tries to strike me again. “Babe?” I am trying to plea. Save our marriage. So much time invested, so much pain endured. I can’t lose what I have fought so hard for.
When he looks at me this time, he is almost unrecognizable. His face distorted, sinister even.
“You will ruin everything.” It’s almost inaudible, washed away with the sound of the waves. He walks towards me in an instant his large hand at my neck and he squeezes.
“Stop!” I manage to choke, both my hands on his trying to pry his fingers open. The air is constricting and I’m finding it hard to speak, breath…
His other hand comes up pushing mine away and he cups both around my neck, He has me against the rail. The chain of the necklace I wore cutting the skin, it stings. The boat sways on the sea. I can’t speak. I try and nothing. His eyes are red. I see the monster in him, the devil himself as he crushes my throat. Then nothing.
I can’t collect my thoughts as the memory fades. I am not sure what I am doing, where I am , but he is here in front of me with a necklace in hand. My necklace chain holding a black opal and diamonds. The one he gifted me after the first time he ever put his hands on me. I had it on that night.
Someone calls his name. A beautiful blonde woman, the one from the picture, walks towards us. Towards him, I cannot be seen. The hand that cradled the stone goes behind his back as she approaches a smile gleaming on her face, a faded bruise on her jaw a fresh one on her arm.
“I got this for you.” Her smile broadens. She reaches for the jewelry, a diamond ring on her left hand glistening with the sun. “I’m sorry,” he says gently kissing her on the lips.